'Twas the week before Christmas, and in our account
The dollars I found were a paltry amount
One kid wants a camera, another a phone
Come Christmas morning, they’re all sure to moan
A magazine subscription? What fun is that?
Hey Dad, hey Mom, what’s with this hat?
Soon I will tire of their incessant mocking
That started just after they opened their stocking
No DVDs there, no gift cards, no PS3 stuff
I sprang for an orange…is that not enough?
And under the tree, the offerings seem sparse
Because I can’t pull money right out of my arse
The economy’s struggling, times they are lean
So from high hopes our children we wean
At least they’ll get turkey, and taters and stuffing
Ha! They’ll get leftovers—I was just bluffing
Oh the sad looks we’ll see on all of their faces
That are slightly askew—no money for braces
I’d offer a drink, some cider or nog
Won’t that make up for not getting a dog?
The five frowning faces will be a horrible sight
Enough of this Christmas—let's call it a night