Just a quick rundown of the writing history that brought me to this point:
Brian O'Mara-Croft (then just Croft) writes to a number of large publishers to pitch his idea for a book he believes will have great appeal. The hook? Unlike other books for the younger set, this one will stand out because it will be written not by an adult, but by a 10-year-old. Brian's enthusiasm, sadly, is not shared.
After a 31-year hiatus, Brian writes a book. Much to the delight of his wife Patty, he writes about her...and about their five kids, houseflies, pets, cleaning, gardening, feet, immigration, masturbation, sports and camping. Patty threatens divorce and/or violence; Brian sells the book.
Brian realizes that if he wants everyone to read about his fetishes and foibles (again, to Patty's delight), he needs to "self-promote" (or, in publishing lingo, to build a "platform".) He promises himself to finally learn what the hell Twitter's all about. He starts writing a blog, the first entry in which focuses on how it took so freaking long to finally write the book.
Barring unforeseen circumstances, Brian's first book, Lost in the Hive: Confessions of a Reluctant Drone, will hit the shelves. He'll have ridiculously high hopes. He won't quit his day job.
Fearing for his life, Brian will go into hiding, never to be heard from again.